


To a world you don’t know

by hikachan



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, Healing, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, downtime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikachan/pseuds/hikachan
Summary: ryosuke is his rock, even if he doesn’t know it.
Relationships: Nakajima Yuto/Yamada Ryosuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	To a world you don’t know

Yuto is clueless, most of the time. Without Ryosuke, he is lost. 

He was the only one truly in his eyes. The only one he knew he could trust, even if everyone else was the most honest person on the earth. 

He’d only trust him. 

He was cold. He constantly felt the pain of the past. Even if he was constantly trying to forget it, it still came back to bite him. He wanted to feel something again. Yearning was the only thing he could do. 24/7. When he wasn’t feeling the sorrow, when he didn’t feel like death was his only option. 

Yamada walked into his life, and ever since then he didn’t feel the sorrow. Not as much, anyways. The boy made him feel, when he was as young as he was. The stupid smiles they exchanged that one time engraved into Yuto’s mind. It played back whenever the thoughts creeped up to him again. 

He felt free, he felt like the world wasn’t against him anymore. For once things were finally looking up. 

Lately though, Yuto had been in one of his episodes again. He didn’t feel as terrible this time around, but his thoughts were overtaking him once again. He was alone with them, which made his tendencies more likely. 

“I’m ringing in.”

Yuto told Yamada not to come, especially since he was so busy this week. He hated bringing up things to him, he could deal with it himself. So he thought anyways. 

Yamada felt the need to worry even more now, especially since Yuto was more likely to do the harm when alone. He didn’t want him to hurt like this, he knew the only way to comfort him was to be with him. Even if it was a small gesture, it could mean the world to him. 

Yuto unlocked the door and let Yamada in, he fell into his arms and softly sighed. “I missed you.” he mumbled, his voice sounded tired and rough from his sob fest earlier. 

Yamada dragged him over to the couch and sat down, sitting the younger’s head on his lap gently. He ran his fingers though his soft, silky hair while speaking. “Missed you too, sweet boy. You’re okay no? I know you weren’t doing well.” The elder asked quietly, caressing Yuto’s cheek with his thumb. 

Yuto nodded and sighed again, crossing his legs and cuddling up in Yamada’s lap gently. “I’m okay, i’ve just been having an episode again. I feel trapped in these walls. When i’m alone i can’t help but to think this way. I don’t want to worry you, that’s why i don’t mention it. You know that, right?” He said quietly, twiddling his thumbs while looking away from the other.

Yamada nodded and a sad look appeared on his face, he understood what Yuto meant though. 

“Yes, i know. But we need to communicate, be honest with each other. It’s bettering you, isn’t it? I am always here when you need me even if you think it’s a bother. Truly, it’s not. You don’t have to fight your battles alone, Yutti.” Yamada said quietly, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. 

“I don’t like to worry you. I said it already but you have enough, and it’ll be okay. But since you mention it, i will speak to you about it from now on. Promise.” Yuto spoke with a knot in his throat, holding back his tears. He didn’t want to look weak, but alas he bursted into tears. 

Yamada kept holding his hand and kissed his forehead softly, wiping away the tears with his other hand. “Shh, it’s okay. Cry it out” he said gently, he felt heartbroken looking at him like this. He looked weak and helpless, the least Yamada could do was comfort him in this situation. 

They sat in silence while Yuto cried, sniffling between sobs. Yamada kept doing his gentle gestures to ease the other through. He finally stopped and wiped his face, sitting up once more. He faced Yamada directly, making eye to eye contact with him. 

“I love you” 

That’s all he said, and Yamada gently kissed his lips with ease. It was warm and kind to the both of them. 

Yuto pulled away after a minute, and placed their hands on top of each other again. He stared for a minute and let a big sigh of relief out once more. 

“You’re my rock, even if you don’t know it.” 

Yamada didn’t open his mouth, he just nodded along. Yuto knew what that meant. He knew, he was so happy about it. 

Maybe doubts weren’t so bad, not if you have the right person. That’s what Yuto thought, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> had to hit em w a sad one. don’t worry tho, there’s a happy ending.


End file.
